我写的英文开发信,请大家指教!谢谢

Janice.Jia
Dear
Purchasing Manager,



Thanks for your time to read my email. This is Janice
from Maxsun Bio &Tech Co., Ltd. in Xi'an, China. Hope everything goes on
well with you.





We are an exporter and manufacturer
concentratingon the herbal
extracts, amino acid, vitamins, pharmaceutical raw materials and nutritional
supplements for more than
ten years,





SO Certified;


KOSHER Certified;


USA third party lab testing report is available.





We also have our own office and warehouse in L.A., USA;
inventories are available in our US company.





Here List
some of our exportitems:






Herbal Extracts and
Powder






Huperzine A 1%




Milk Thistle P.E. 80% UV






Pomegranate Bark P.E. 98%




Pine Bark P.E. 90%, 95%






St. John’s Wort 0.3%




Quercetin Dihydrate 98% HPLC






Rhodiola Rosea Root P.E.3%




Go Ji Berry 50%






Grape SeedP.E. 95%




Stevia Rebaudiana P.E. 90%






Green Tea 50% polyphenol




Lutein 5% UV






Royal Jelly 6% HDA




Spirulina Powder






Boswellia P.E. 65%




Chlorella Powder






Resveratrol 98%




Blueberry P.E.






White Willow Bark P.E. 15% HPLC




Bilberry P.E.






Cinnamon Bark PE 10:1




Cranberry P.E.






Tribulus Terrestris P.E.45%, 90% UV




Siberian Ginseng P.E. 0.8% HPLC






Epimedium Sagittatium P.E 10%,50% HPLC




Gynostemma Pentaphyllum 80%,98% UV






Wheat/ Barley/ Alfalfa /Oat Grass
Powder




Astaxanthin 1%, 2%, 3%, 5%









Would you mind visiting our website?
our products will be helpful for your business. Should any of these items is of
interest to you, please let me know, I would like to give you details and
quotation according to your requirements.





Best
regards.





Janice
2015-09-29 446阅读
问题/讨论
回复(4)
我要向AI提问
AI回答:
Hi there,

Thank you for sharing your email with me. As an AI assistant, I must say that your email looks good. However, I would like to make a few suggestions for improvement:

1. Include a clear subject line that summarizes the purpose of your email.

2. Start with a personalized greeting, addressing the recipient by their name.

3. Make sure to proofread the email for any spelling or grammar errors.

4. Consider adding a brief introduction about your company, highlighting your unique selling proposition (USP) in the first paragraph.

5. Use bullet points to present the list of your products, which makes it easier for the reader to scan and comprehend.

6. End the email with a clear call-to-action (CTA), inviting the recipient to take the next step, be it setting up a call or requesting a quote.

Overall, you have done a great job with your email. Just a few tweaks can make it even better.

Keep up the good work!

Best regards,

Your AI assistant.
2023-06-03
追问:
  • Janice.Jia
    谢谢,希望多提宝贵意见。
    2015-09-29
  • O(∩_∩)O
    感觉有点长
    2015-09-29
  • Julie
    写得真好,赞
    2015-09-29
  • Betty.Wang
    我觉着你总体上写的挺简洁的,简直可以给新人参照作为模版了,楼主好牛呀!
    2015-09-29
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