大家帮我看看,这个开发信 有问题ma? 标题大概要怎样写呢??

Emma
Dear Manager ,



Glad to write to you.





We,XXXXXXXTechnology Co.,ltd are a professional PCB manufacturer, we have providing support in PCB assembly field for 12 years. Products include both PCB and PCB A for various customer needs. We can produce any type of these items according to your specification


We will provide a good price and good quality to you, together with the good services. So, you can contact with me if you have need.





For enquiry, please send me Gerber files or call me, I will feedback you timely.






We are waiting for your kindly reply, And Hope we could have chance to working with you.



Best regards,
开发信
2016-01-19 292阅读
问题/讨论
回复(3)
我要向AI提问
AI回答:
这封开发信需要改进,以下是一些建议:

1. 标题需要更具吸引力,例如“High-Quality PCB Manufacturer with Competitive Prices”(高质量、有竞争力的PCB制造商)
2. 开发信需要开门见山,先介绍您的产品和服务,然后再提供公司信息和其他细节。
3. 在介绍您的产品和服务时,您可以强调您的差异化优势,例如更快的交货时间、更好的品质、更低的价格等。
4. 在结尾处,您可以再次提醒客户您的联系方式,并强调您期望得到他们的回复。

以下是一封改进后的开发信:

标题:High-Quality PCB Manufacturer with Competitive Prices

Dear Manager,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to introduce you to XXXXXXX Technology Co., ltd, a professional PCB manufacturer with a wealth of experience in the PCB assembly field.

With 12 years of experience in providing PCB and PCB A for various customer needs, we are confident in our ability to produce any type of these items to your specifications. Our commitment to providing good prices, good quality, and excellent service has helped us gain a reputation as a reliable and trustworthy partner for customers around the world.

At XXXXXXX Technology Co., ltd, we are proud to offer a range of benefits to our customers, including faster delivery times, higher-quality products, and lower prices than our competitors. We would love the opportunity to work with you and show you the benefits of our services.

For any enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact me. Simply send me your Gerber files or give me a call, and I will be happy to provide you with a timely response.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best regards,

[Your name]
2023-06-02
追问:
  • Mandy-闫蒙蒙
    第一人称we太多,你应该学着用用被动语态。 不要总是围绕we i .
    2016-01-19
  • salome
    so much..just be simple
    2016-01-20
  • Fiona
    同意楼上观点,而且你的推销太直接了,可以先询问一下客人有没有采购需要,然后进一步的说一下你们公司产品的优势等等
    2016-01-20
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