我的开发信,大家帮忙看看

蜗牛_courage
最近一直i在发开发信,大家帮忙看看,我还是个新人,希望大家多多提建议啊,看看我还有哪里要改进




To whom it may concern,


We got fromChina International Fertilizer Show that you are in the market for fertilizer. It aroused our great interest to he contact with you.

We are one of the major manufacturers offertilizer in Shanxi province of China. And we he been specializing in humate, humic acid, fulvic acid and other production for years. We can offer abundantly products of them withcompetitive pricesand good merchantable quality. We feel confident that you will be satisfied with our productfor their superior quality.

We wonder if you he consideration to establish business relation with us and what is your requirement of product standard. We believe there is a promising market of this kind mentioned.

If you he any request, please let us know. We also can provide our product details if it is necessary. We would expect to establish long-term business relations.

Your earliest reply will be greatly appreciated!


Sincerely yours,
2015-05-08 558阅读
问题/讨论
回复(10)
我要向AI提问
AI回答:
Dear Sir/Madam,

I have read through your development email and would like to offer some suggestions on how to improve it. Firstly, you can add a personalized salutation to make it more engaging such as addressing the recipient by name. In addition, you can start by introducing yourself and your company; this will give the recipient an idea of who they are dealing with and build trust.

Additionally, you can include more specific details about your products and services, such as the specific type and quality of fertilizer that you produce along with its primary uses. This can go a long way in convincing your recipient to consider establishing business relations with you.

Lastly, it is crucial to include a clear call-to-action in emails, such as scheduling a meeting or requesting additional information. This will encourage the recipient to respond and take the next step towards establishing a business relationship.

Overall, the email is well-written and conveys the necessary information. With a few tweaks, it can be even more effective. Good luck with your endeavors!

Best regards,
2023-06-06
追问:
  • 蜗牛_courage
    嗯嗯,好的,谢谢
    2015-05-11
  • Michael
    我师傅带我时候叫我三点。
    第一不管是首次开发还是邮件跟进,邮件都是最有效率的工具,所以一定要简单,直接,在商言商。
    第二,邮件中突出主题,开门见山把你的意思表达出来,中国人的客气,含蓄有时候少保留一点,直接把对方关注的东西点出来
    第三,注意你的签名和地址什么的,还有就是一定要注意邮件的整体格式
    2015-09-12
  • 1461643064
    长到我头晕
    2015-07-15
  • 蜗牛_courage
    这样啊,谢谢啦!
    2015-05-11
  • 蜗牛_courage
    好的,太谢谢了
    2015-05-11
  • 专业五金冲压模具供应商
    没留下你们公司的网站吗?
    2015-05-08
  • 专业五金冲压模具供应商
    To whom it may concern,这个称呼叫谁看了都不想去理
    2015-05-08
  • Rocky
    太长啦, 你要告诉客人什么啊?? 你只要和客人说我们是专业做什么的, 我们有哪些产品就好啦!
    2015-05-08
  • 杨一泰
    实在太长了,关于你们公司介绍那一块删一点,有些东西客户想知道自己会问的,你写这么多没人想看
    2015-05-08
  • MTSCO小许
    太长。。。
    2015-05-08
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