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    第三篇的案例是一个有关验货/付款的拉锯战,相当典型。客户是中间商,却以最终客户投诉为由要求扣除我司总货款的20%。在我司同意的情况下,剩余的货款仍然拖至6月未付。此时我司还有客户最后一票货物TCS。

    第三篇的案例是一个有关验货/付款的拉锯战,相当典型。故事很长,我把它拆散吧。

    我直接引用一下同学写的背景。老规矩,删去敏感数据。

    TCJ款式为我们其中之一个款式,此款因为中间沟通的问题,导致标准模糊,最终造成大货部分货品外观/尺寸不是很好。客户是中间商,却以最终客户投诉为由要求扣除我司总货款的20%。在我司同意的情况下,剩余的货款仍然拖至6月未付。此时我司还有客户最后一票货物TCS。TCS第一次尾查并没有通过,于是我们就安排了最终客户指定的第三方验货(简称Q吧),在拿到通过的验货报告后,要求中间商客户付清前一笔的货款。

    以下是同学发的文件,我连拼错字也原汁原味转来。Spell check大家必须做:
    Dear ALL,

    TCS already passed the final inspection issued by Q. So from our side, (这句很中式,你可能想说「我们这边认为。。」。建议改为From our point of view, 霸气点可以「In my view」。将View变做动词能就更霸。。。不过,你在做生意,不是在做戏。。不用太霸气的。。)we don't think it's neccessary for tomorrow's re-inspection. (整句还是不错,因为你把自己的看法直接和清析地表达出来了。)

    But pls clearly to be noted, (这句也是常错的。首先,小小文法。But永远不用来开句的。真要表达,那就用However来开句。另外是句式太复杂。pls be clearly noted that….会好一点。但也只是好一点点而已。。。)indicated by our company's policy we must receive at least 50% payment for TCJ no later than Monday, (此处该有连接词吧?有点odd)no shippment will be allowed to arrange for TCS before we received any serious offical (official就够了。你可能是见过有人用serious在类似的场合,但这里不对。)payment confirmation.
    I am sorry for this, but I need to follow company's policy. And pls let me know your action ASAP.
    Thanks & Best regards

    Ms. D (同学的简称吧)

    Ben叔叔是这样改的:
    Hi all, (我知,你们教科书都是DEAR。跟一个老头DEAR,渣男屌丝又DEAR,你没觉得不对劲吗?)
    Following the positive inspection result from Q, I don’t see the needs of the re-inspection.  Quality should be well accepted according to our defined process. (多用Process. 在品管领域,Process是圣旨。既有process而不跟,死罪)
    As a separate issue, (这的确该是两码不同的事)may I remind you that we must receive 50% of the payment before we can proceed your shipment?  I am not able to release anything without a solid proof(solid这个字很好用).  Please help me to help you an on time delivery.(这句不得了。。。就是说:哥,我已尽力了,你得自己争气啊。。。)
    I am sorry, but a rule is a rule (这一句可以不要,就看你跟客户的关系了).  Thanks for your understand.
    Regards,

    Ben

    接下去是客户三个不同部门的人在围攻同学Ms. D:
    Hi Dora,
    We had already advised that there was no need to arrange Q inspection but let our QC Janny to do the re-final inspection. Please confirm that you had already sorted out all the problems as what our QC Janny found on her final inspection. Her previous final inspection was rejected with a lot of issues. Please reply.
    Regard,
    A

    第二个:

    Hi Carmen, Janny needs to do this reinspection and eyeball (eyeball这个字很常见也很有现场感,值得大家学习)the whole stock.
    Regards,

    B

    第三个:
    I agree with B。
    We need to ensure the workmanship issues have truly been addressed. (这句很典型的跟屁虫废话, 500强常见。)
    Regards,
    C
    太长了,整个故事。今次就先到此为止。

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